A lil bit lie and truth.

Do not be sad for being without someone who is happy being without you; it is not fair, isn't?

Hey, can't you see I'm smiling over here?

:)

7 things.

1. I don't like you when you are mad and shout at me.

2. I don't like you when you behave like a child.

3. I don't like you when you are with your jerk friends.

4. I don't like you when you don't understand my feelings.

5. I don't like you when you ignore me.

6. I don't like you when you are not my bf.

7. I don't like you coz you make me love you. :(

hard.

Sometimes its so hard to understand people who are so close to you.
Sometimes its easier to understand people who are just new to you.
Sometimes you think that you understand him/her, but the actual is you don't.
Why are you so complicated?
I'm getting tired to figure out what's in your mind, and what is actually that you want.
I think I was wrong.
Thought of knowing you the best, in and out.
You prove me that I was wrong, once I found out the truth.
The thing that I didn't know all this while.
Fooled, cheated.
But thanks, at least you gave me something to learn.
To not to trust anyone anymore.
To be stronger than I can ever be.
To stop using my eyes to cry, but to use it to see clearer instead.
Maybe I was blinded before.. By your words, by my trust, by love.
What happened is happened.
We cannot fix it nor change it.
There's no use to regret it now.
I prefer you to do what's the best to build the trust again.
Or at least make me feel worthy.
But if you don't, I can't do anything.
You choose your way, I'll just wait.
Err, wait? Really? Yea, maybe. But not that long.
Cause I'm tired already.
If you choose to waste your time blaming people, I couldn't stop you.
I'll just think that you are making another mistake.
Or you are just don't learn from your MISTAKE.
Its just, don't make me feel like what happened between you and me was a MISTAKE.

maybe?

maybe I should just STOP.

*sigh*

I'm lucky.

I'm recovering. :))

It's a learning process now. To know him better, and for him to know myself better.
Some may say that it's too early for us to see each other after the 'day'. I also thought about it. But hell about others, we do what we want to do.

We are happy now. Yes, I know by doing this, we could hardly move on. We are still love each other, and that's the fact. We are still hoping, I know. Even so, we didn't push ourselves to get together back. That's a good thing. :) Just let it be like it should be. We are not in a rush. I don't want to make a wrong decision, again. I believe, he feels the same. If we really meant to be together, sooner or later, we'll be together, again. Thanks for those who always pray for us and care about our relationship. Some friends feel sad. Me? You would never know what I feel inside.

I want to thank zillion times to each one of you who keeps on supporting me all this while. During my ups and DOWNS. For always asking me whether I'm ok or not. For always be there when I need someone to talk badly. For giving me strength to move on. For keep me accompany to make me feel that I am not alone. For all the advices, and those magical words to heal the pain. For putting positive thinking in to my mind. For all the L♥VE you gave me. I couldn't ask for more. I couldn't pay you back. But I'll try my best to be the best-est friend you ever had.

♥

Kyle and Bella.. You really made my day. Even you Kyle, naughty boy. I love both of you so much. Both of you actually are the reason why me and him still can talk and sit together. Kyle, do behave with daddy. Don't bite, don't shout, be friendly. And also, don't make out with Bella. Both of you are still babiesss.. :) hehe.. Hopefully, you will be as tame as Bella soon. :))

♥

Family members especially his mum. Other family members didn't know the actually reason  why we broke up except his mum. I'm sorry for not telling you guys but its better to left it unsaid. Still, u guys support me endlessly. Thank you. To mama (his mum), thank you for your advices and supports, and for loving me as your daughter, not as your son's GF. You're the coolest mum I ever known! Seriously.

♥

And lastly, you. You know you are the best thing that could ever happen in my life. You know how I feel, you know how deep my love is. Thanks for always be there for me. Thanks for granting your promise, to be friends after we broke up. I'll pray for your happiness no matter with who. 4 years memories with you, will remain in my heart. I promise! Do take a BIG care of yourself. I know you can do it without me. I miss you. :(

♥ 

Yes, I'm lucky to have these people in my life! :)

THANK YOU!!

I'll be fine.

Heart is beating fast.
Mind couldn't stop thinking.
Mostly, negative thoughts.
What and why? Don't ask.
Coz me myself also can't find the root of this matter.
Mahu keraskan hati. Sekeras kerasnya.
Tapi tak mahu keras seperti ice.
Yang akan melt akhirnya.
Mungkin keras seperti batu.
Ya, sekeras itu. Hopefully boleh.
Maybe I should stop thinking.
Thinking about this matter.
No I rephrase, STOP thinking about YOU.
How I wish it could be that easy.
Can I just press on 'shift' and 'del' of my keyboard of LIFE which can permanently delete you?
How I wish those keys exist.
If you know that you are gonna hurt me, don't ever enter into my life.
Coz it hurts so bad.
If you really wanna make me happy, then DO it, instead of just TALKing.
But if u can't, just leave.
Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. *finger cross*

A broken heart is like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it.

Right or wrong?

I don't know whether this is right or wrong. I just don't bother.
Cause I'm tired already. *sighh
:(

Lied uh?

1 thing that you need to know about me is I freakin hate LIAR!
Don't ever dare to lie to me.
Sooner or later, I'll found it out myself.
Cause I'm not stupid like you, fool!
Stupid!

p.s. : I can be bad too, just to remind you if you're forgotten.

its the time, again.

i write when i need someone to talk to. something to calm me down. and this is the 'time'.

emm well. i don't know what to write/type.

i feel empty.
i feel want to run from everything.
i feel like i want to live alone.
i feel like to jump down from highest place.
i feel so bad. ;(

all i can do now is crying. tears, my perfect companion these days. :((

*at least ter-update gak blog ni kan?